don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
PS: I just woke up from my shower
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Randomize
