My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
