Christians are straight up FREAKS
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
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