SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
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