I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
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