yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
