Heybabeimwearingurpanties
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Go christen that room with your naked body.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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