She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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