wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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