just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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