Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
the liver wants what the liver wants
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
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