the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Blood and glitter go together right?
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
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