I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Randomize
