No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
