Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize