you traded sex for a burrito?
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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