oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize
