An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
We are two peas in an std pod
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Randomize
