Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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