Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
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