Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
