A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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