I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Randomize
