There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
