my mouth tastes like poor choices
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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