come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
