I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Randomize
