At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
