I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
