the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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