Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
