Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
We're too hungover to prance.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
