she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize
