Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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