I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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