Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
Randomize
