wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
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