i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
