There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Randomize
