Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
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