Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Randomize
