that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
