Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
don't judge my taste in strippers
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
