I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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