I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story