The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Randomize
