I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
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