That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
