it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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