You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
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