After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
