It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Randomize
