My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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