Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
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