your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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