She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
