She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
