Acid is not a monday night drug
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
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