After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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