Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Randomize
