Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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