the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
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I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
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You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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