They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
