y did u give ur computer a hand job?
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Boobs speak an international language.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
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