I accidentally burped into my bong.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Randomize
