i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
there's paper in my vomit.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
