she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Randomize
