RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Randomize
